Following

One more old poem for tonight, just because this one is a lot of what's on my heart lately.  Hope you enjoy!

Fear and hope collide
   on this tear-streaked face.
Longing to be lost in love
   wishing to be found in grace.

I am a fire, burning down,
   consuming that which fuels me,
So I search for idols and pretty things
   until it's them that rules me.

I long to see the approving eyes
   of the world that surrounds me,
But I've noticed I tend to fail most
   when I don't let faith ground me.

I know God's love is unconditional
   and Christ already paid the cost.
But though I seek to alway follow,
   I struggle to leave my sins at the cross.

I seek answers here that I do not find,
   I long to know my God,
That one day I may look into his eyes
   and see an approving nod.

But more than that, I want life now,
   that's worthy of my calling,
And the peace that comes alone from knowing
   It is only God I'm following.