Desert Soul
Stop. Shut your eyes for two seconds. Don't think, just do it.
Did you hear it? Was it terrifying?
If you think I've lost it, fear not. There was a point to that. Did you hear the silence? Maybe not. Maybe your sister is blasting music in the next room. Maybe the phone rang. Or you got a text message. Or the dishwasher was running. So. Much. Noise.
I have a confession to make: I fear silence, in the deepest part of my soul. I avoid it as much as possible. Lucky for me, that's not a difficult task. Between my music, my electronics, and the thoughts constantly wizzing through my head, I don't have much to be nervous about.
But I'm missing out. You see, it's hard to hear the voice of God when it is overpowered by our to-do lists, the buzzing of our motors, and the constant chatter of our Twitter feeds. In fact, sometimes His voice gets blocked out all together. We are so busy. We are so loud. Why?
I think I know why. It's because we know there's a hole in our hearts. All our loudness and activities are an attempt to do one of two things: fill the hole or pretend its not there. To satisfy the emptiness in our hearts, we search for things like acceptance, love, and praise. We believe that these are the things missing from our lives. But as we realize that nothing we are doing is making us feel whole again, we begin to panic. What if there's no answer? What if we're stuck like this forever?
So we chose to ignore it. One more lunch date will do the trick. One more meeting. One more social media account. One more extracurricular. Soon we start to wear down, but we can't stop... if we do, we will only realize the hole has grown wider and deeper with our exhaustion.
The truth is this: only God can satisfy the part of us that's broken. I think that deep down, we know that nothing we can do will be enough. And that is what scare us the most. It's not that we are broken, it's that we can't do anything to fix it.
We're like the "handyman" dad who tries to do a home repair. Not only do we fail to fix the leaky sink, we knock out the power in the process.
Time to be honest. Lay down the wrench. Call the repairman.
Or maybe you're like me. Forgetful. You see, I know there's a hole in my heart and I know that only God can satisfy it. The problem is, when He does, I have a tendency to smile and then run off to my next event, calling out a quick, "Thanks!" over my shoulder as I go. And then I hop from one thing to the next, until suddenly I realize: it's back again.
I'm trying to trick God. If I can't solve the problem, at least I can still be in control of when it's fixed. God will be allowed to satisfy me, but it will be on my terms.
I'm trying to water the desert, one watering can at a time. And it's only wearing me out.
I think it's time to admit defeat and pray for rain.
Did you hear it? Was it terrifying?
If you think I've lost it, fear not. There was a point to that. Did you hear the silence? Maybe not. Maybe your sister is blasting music in the next room. Maybe the phone rang. Or you got a text message. Or the dishwasher was running. So. Much. Noise.
I have a confession to make: I fear silence, in the deepest part of my soul. I avoid it as much as possible. Lucky for me, that's not a difficult task. Between my music, my electronics, and the thoughts constantly wizzing through my head, I don't have much to be nervous about.
But I'm missing out. You see, it's hard to hear the voice of God when it is overpowered by our to-do lists, the buzzing of our motors, and the constant chatter of our Twitter feeds. In fact, sometimes His voice gets blocked out all together. We are so busy. We are so loud. Why?
I think I know why. It's because we know there's a hole in our hearts. All our loudness and activities are an attempt to do one of two things: fill the hole or pretend its not there. To satisfy the emptiness in our hearts, we search for things like acceptance, love, and praise. We believe that these are the things missing from our lives. But as we realize that nothing we are doing is making us feel whole again, we begin to panic. What if there's no answer? What if we're stuck like this forever?
So we chose to ignore it. One more lunch date will do the trick. One more meeting. One more social media account. One more extracurricular. Soon we start to wear down, but we can't stop... if we do, we will only realize the hole has grown wider and deeper with our exhaustion.
The truth is this: only God can satisfy the part of us that's broken. I think that deep down, we know that nothing we can do will be enough. And that is what scare us the most. It's not that we are broken, it's that we can't do anything to fix it.
We're like the "handyman" dad who tries to do a home repair. Not only do we fail to fix the leaky sink, we knock out the power in the process.
Time to be honest. Lay down the wrench. Call the repairman.
Or maybe you're like me. Forgetful. You see, I know there's a hole in my heart and I know that only God can satisfy it. The problem is, when He does, I have a tendency to smile and then run off to my next event, calling out a quick, "Thanks!" over my shoulder as I go. And then I hop from one thing to the next, until suddenly I realize: it's back again.
I'm trying to trick God. If I can't solve the problem, at least I can still be in control of when it's fixed. God will be allowed to satisfy me, but it will be on my terms.
I'm trying to water the desert, one watering can at a time. And it's only wearing me out.
I think it's time to admit defeat and pray for rain.
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