Unashamed
Why does my heart wander so? Why can it not be content with You? After all, You are the only thing that can satisfy. Instead, it lusts after the things of this world. It searches for things it knows it cannot find, finds things it knows it cannot hold onto, and holds onto thing it knows will only cause it to break.
And for this, and all these things I have done, for all my wayward wanderings... I am ashamed.
I hear the voice, loud and clear, "How can you do this? How did you fail again? What kind of child are you? After all He has done..."
Even now, as I hear these words, I know that they are not from you. It is the voice of Satan, the Accuser, speaking with one underlying theme: be ashamed, be ashamed, be ashamed.
And I am. I am ashamed.
But You, God, you point to the cross and tell me in the patient, loving voice of a Father, "There. There is where your shame was taken from you. There is where it died."
Suddenly, I realize the freedom You are granting me with this truth. One by one, Satan's accusations fall flat. I cannot be perfect. I need not try. I am the kind of child God would chose for Himself, bought at a high price, and yet, paid for in full. One by one the voices that declare my sin and shame fall silent.
All is still. Now, I look up to You in surprise. You, who are perfect. You, whose love never fails, whose heart never falters. You, who have every right to judge me and find me wanting, worthless.
But You do not do what I had once expected. Instead, you look at me and ask, "Daughter, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" I look to where my accusers once stood but You have sent them away. My voice shakes with awe and fear as I answer: "No."
And then you say the last thing I deserve to hear, and yet the thing I longed for most. A statement, a release, a command, and a driving force all at once...
"Then neither do I condemn you. Go now and leave your life of sin."
Inspired by my story and the story of the adulterer's encounter with Jesus in John 8.
And for this, and all these things I have done, for all my wayward wanderings... I am ashamed.
I hear the voice, loud and clear, "How can you do this? How did you fail again? What kind of child are you? After all He has done..."
Even now, as I hear these words, I know that they are not from you. It is the voice of Satan, the Accuser, speaking with one underlying theme: be ashamed, be ashamed, be ashamed.
And I am. I am ashamed.
But You, God, you point to the cross and tell me in the patient, loving voice of a Father, "There. There is where your shame was taken from you. There is where it died."
Suddenly, I realize the freedom You are granting me with this truth. One by one, Satan's accusations fall flat. I cannot be perfect. I need not try. I am the kind of child God would chose for Himself, bought at a high price, and yet, paid for in full. One by one the voices that declare my sin and shame fall silent.
All is still. Now, I look up to You in surprise. You, who are perfect. You, whose love never fails, whose heart never falters. You, who have every right to judge me and find me wanting, worthless.
But You do not do what I had once expected. Instead, you look at me and ask, "Daughter, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" I look to where my accusers once stood but You have sent them away. My voice shakes with awe and fear as I answer: "No."
And then you say the last thing I deserve to hear, and yet the thing I longed for most. A statement, a release, a command, and a driving force all at once...
"Then neither do I condemn you. Go now and leave your life of sin."
Inspired by my story and the story of the adulterer's encounter with Jesus in John 8.
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