I Don't Want to Be A Better Christian

Something struck me tonight... I don't want to be a better Christian.

My whole life, I have wanted to be a better Christian, and I'm tired of longing for it.  So tonight, I am finished.  I no longer want to be a better Christian.

Hold you pitchforks before you run me out of town and hear this one out.

I spend so  much of my time wondering how God could use me, listing off all the ways I could improve in my walk with Him, and trying to determine exactly how many sins He's forgiven me for that I rarely have energy left to change things in my faith walk.

I waste all my time planning and worrying about what may go wrong, that by the time I reach the journey itself, I'm too tired to go.  So tonight, I set down my longings.  

How can God use me?  Maybe it's time to stop sitting here and wondering.  Maybe it's time to step outside and find out.

How could I improve my faith walk with Him?  By actually talking to Him and spending time with Him.  By knowing Him rather than simply knowing about Him.

How many sins has He forgiven me for?  All of them.  No need to list them all up and count them off.  Their price is rendered paid by the power of the cross.

So tonight, along with all my uncounted sins, I leave at the foot of the cross my hopeless desires.  I am giving up wanting to be a better Christian in favor of actually going out and being a better Christian.

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