Heart Problems

I have a confession to make.  Recently, I've been unfaithful.  I've ignored God when he warns me against doing things.  I've pushed Him aside when I feel Him gently tugging on my heart not to turn on the TV.  It's not the television show that will hurt me, it's the things I won't be doing when I watch the next one and the next one.  I've chosen to go against his soft nudging that perhaps YouTube and Facebook aren't good ideas because they'll just suck me in and consume my time.

I've come up with pitiful excuses: I'm really tired.  Just a short break.  I just need to see this one thing.  I've been so focused all day.  Can't I just have a moment to relax?

God, I know you're right.  But I don't care.

I'm beginning to edge my toes into the place where bad choices meet sin and create the violent riptide of intentional disobedience.  Because when you can push aside a clear instruction from God, simply because you don't want to listen, you're choosing your own path... and that path does not lead to God.

Don't be stopped by the surface wound, this is more than a problem with our actions.  This is a heart problem.  It's not Facebook and the television that will push aside the light in your life, it's the compromises.  One thing will lead to another until suddenly we're farther gone than we thought.  Realizing you don't care that you are going against God's wishes is a dangerous sign.

Yet, despite our betrayal and determination to follow our own ways, God has promised to answer when we fall to his feet.  So tonight, I'm begging God for more than forgiveness.  I want more than the strength to do what I know is right.

I don't want God to stop at fixing my actions, when He can heal my heart.

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