It's About Time

I recently found myself telling a friend, "I feel like there's been some distance between God and I lately, but I haven't really had the time sit down and ask Him about it."

In retrospect, this would probably be similar to if a man told his friend, "You know, I think my wife's been upset with me recently, but I've been so busy with the affair I'm having, I really haven't had time to talk to her about it."

Not "having time" for God is a strange concept: it's a problem that doesn't exist, yet we all struggle with it.  Let's talk for a moment about what I mean by saying it doesn't really exist.  Usually, when I say I can't find time for God, what I really mean is God is not my priority.  For my generation, you don't really hear people saying, "I just haven't had time to check Facebook lately" or "Sure, I'd love to go out on a date with him, but I just don't know how I'd find the time."  Limited time is rarely the problem, it's how we spend it.  I would be willing to venture that if you spent a day without Facebook or cellphones or TV or any of the other things that distract us from our duties, you wouldn't "run out of time" for God.

Even as I say this, I feel hypocritical.  I am writing this post at 11:30 at night, thanks to Facebook, YouTube, and the general lineup of Apple products.  Still, the problem isn't that I haven't had time for God today, the problem is simply that I haven't prioritized God today.  So when I tell God that "I will speak with him in just a  moment if he could please hold on because this puppy video is really cute and I just can't possibly pull myself away right now because I am so busy," well then, yes.  My relationship with Him will probably suffer.

When this begins to happen, though, it's usually a warning sign of a deeper, more complex issue.  I have gotten so caught up in the routine and tasks of things I do for or with God, that I have taken love completely out of the equation.  My faith has stopped being centered around Christ, and shifted to being centered around the "to-do" list I have drawn up.  While I probably had the best intentions to begin with, most likely I was even driven to my work by the power of love, I have forgotten my original reasons for what I am doing and my actions have become empty and hollow.

So tonight I'm letting go and accepting the fact that God doesn't want my displays of affection or my good deeds or even my sacrifices.  He just wants me.  Tomorrow, I probably won't be able to find time for Him because at no point in the day will an extra hour simply fall into my lap. But if I cut out a bit of Instagram here and some Harlem Shake videos there, things might just work out. Things will work out.  Because surely I can "find time", for the One who created it.